Hello! My name is Worthless Nobody.

I was born into a vicious circle, in the captivity of corruption.
I don’t have a place where to sleep. I don’t have enough money to eat regularly.
I can’t have a normal job because of the BIG corruption and the lack of higher level education.

So I’ve asked myself: what options do I have? Let’s see:

My first option is that I find a job on the black market for about $100/month – sorry, I don’t take the risks for an old song.
Second option is that I travel somewhere else from this junkyard and start studying one of the two things I like, Computer Science (networking, security issues, Linux, BSD, etc.) or Art. But wait! For doing that I need money. Without money, this option is also eliminated. 😦
Okay. What the hell can I do now? To educate myself, I need money. To raise money, I need education. That is a vicious circle. There is no escape.

Because of my good breeding (I was born to a christian family), I won’t be a murderer, I won’t rob a bank.
Dignity of the human being – I’m carrying that with myself too, so I will not palm myself off as mentally retarded to win a free place at a sanatorium.
However I look at it, there is only one more option left. At a sunny day I will end my life. I can’t stand this catch-22 anymore. Adversity every day.
That’s the reason of this blog’s existence: as a last chance I give the opportunity to the Internet to save my life. Maybe somebody will press that Donate button on the top……..

Goodbye, Earth!

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7 thoughts on “Hello! My name is Worthless Nobody.

  1. really? why would you do this? ring a helpline, talk to someone… leaving is always the last option and you have plenty more its just you’re in pain to see them…. but thats ok… im telling you now.. there are other options. you ARE worth being here and more people understaand how you feel than you’d probably ever realize. you are not alone, you are not the only one… there is hope.

  2. I know that I’m not alone, but it doesn’t helps me… And unfortunately, talking to someone won’t solve my problem because I don’t have any rich friends or uncle.
    Anyway, years ago, I used to talk a lot, and now I can see that it wasn’t worth anything…

  3. Hi there. I hope you feel a sense of hope soon. Go to your local community college and ask about financial aid (there’s lots of money available to people willing to fill out some paperwork). It sounds like you have an interest in IT work- a few classes might change your outlook on life 🙂 Best wishes to you, buddy!

  4. Stumbled across this… If you’re still around, here’s my message to you:

    It sounds like you’re more educated than you think. You already know the confines that most of us were born into. Plus the fact that you’re interested in Comp. Sci. and the Arts tell mes that you’re not behind in the digital divide, and that you also appreciate the expression of life that Art tries to interpret.

    It also appears that, due to your current sub-standard living conditions, not existing at all is better than going through whatever you’re been going through. But that is a direct contradiction to your Christian upbringing. I’m sure you know this already. The fact that you are able to set up a donation blog is a testament to your resourcefulness and capabilities. I don’t want to demean your gripes, but rather point out that you should actually look forward to hustling everyday … I’ve seen “karma” in action and know that years of hard work and pain and patience eventually pays off. If not on Earth, perhaps elsewhere afterwards. I’ve made friends with homeless bodies and they in fact are much more knowledgeable and in tune with life than any ignorant billionaire…

    My point is that I think the struggle itself is our purpose in life, and based on what you’ve shared, you Sir are not in as bad a situation as you perceive it to be and are capable of seeing your way through it.

    Good Luck

  5. Thanks for the feedbacks.
    I forgot to mention, I’m not from the States.. And here I cannot do anything with my capabilities while I’m starving. Anyway, I didn’t wrote in the post that I’m about 60kg (132lb) and ~185cm now.. better not to calculate my BMI.

  6. I see – well, wherever you’re from, it sounds like you’re definitely below the poverty line. Over here in the states I would see folks at gas stations offering to wipe car windshields with newspapers for some change. Also, recycling (cans/bottles/scrap metal) is a huge source of income for those living in the “wild”. You don’t seem like the type, but don’t just sit there with a pathetic sign – show some initiative to work. A lot of people will look at your and either pity you, and/or try to ignore you since they can’t affirm that you are a part of their reality. I’m sure there’s a shelter or two that you’ve been familiar as well – they usually offer some aid. How do you get online I wonder? A public library or at a church? Just remember, most people are more ego-centric and driven by pure selfishness. It’s in our nature, but there are some who are willing to help a stranger in need. Check in with you later. Good Luck.

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